Beware Of Flying Ice-Cream
by Dragondancer81
Summary: Tiana didn't really do friendships- she had classmates of course, but not... friends. Friends were for people who were naive, or had enough money that they could afford to trust easy. Most people in Blüdhaven were sensible enough to stay out of her way- In fact, Tiana had a bit of a reputation in these parts; And that was how she liked it. Unfortunately, no one told Dick this.
1. One Scoop, Two Scoop

**Tap here, bringing you this random little story, about a girl with some minor anger issues, and a boy who deals with life by dressing up in a bird themed costume to fight crime.**

**Righty-oh, If you've been on here long enough you should know the drill-**

**I DON'T OWN BATMAN.**

**But I guess I own the words.**

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**Beware Of Flying Ice-Cream:**

Chapter One: One Scoop, Two scoop.

(Alternatively Titled: I don't have a fiance, and I don't want a fiance- I have to take out enough trash everyday.)

* * *

Tiana's hands smooth over the creases in her apron, so she pulled another shift last minute and forgot to iron her uniform. _Who cares? _It wasn't like she was the only one in this godforsaken city with too big of a workload and too little of anything else to care about much other than paying the bills.

The bell rings- one of those old fashioned door bells, complete with the beaten brass shell, and tiny woven cord that absolutely no one uses, ever. It's more for show than anything else. The boss thought it would add some charm to the fine establishment that is a vintage ice cream parlor, complete with the old vinyl chairs and tacky floor tiles.

Tiana turns, a smile as fake as the colour of her hair and dying on her lips faster than she can vault herself over the counter to slam the door in that stupid jerk's face.

_His_ foot flies out, wedging itself neatly between the door and her potential, blissful silence. Why did he have to come now of all times? She was too sober for this crap.

"I'm sorry sir-" She shoves the door a little harder, waiting for him to give up and for the offending appendage to leave her line of sight. "-we're closed for lunch. If you could come back never it would be mighty appreciated."

The man sighs, hands curling around the door-frame and easily pushing it wide open, despite Tiana's best efforts. "Really darling is that anyway to talk to your fiance?" He sneers and Tiana resists the urge to punch his lights out.

"No but it's certainly the way to talk to a no-good cheating son of a bitch who can't seem to accept the fact that his ex-fiance doesn't want nothing to do with him. Get the hell out of my parlor George."

The accountant rolls his eyes. "Last I checked you didn't own the place sweetheart. I'm a paying customer-"

"-And I'm on lunch break, so get out!"

Tiana picks up a straw holder and waves it threateningly. "I'm from Gotham buster, I have a weapon and I ain't afraid to use it."

"Tiana be reasonable, It was one time-"

"One time!?" Her voice rises incredulously, surely he couldn't be serious? "You slept with my cousin you jerk! The day after you proposed."

George scoffs. "Please, like you're so innocent- I saw how you looked at that barman you know- what's his name with the big nose- looks like that idiot from that tv show you used to watch- Endeavour or something. Maybe if you weren't too busy acting like some sort of street rat and instead attended to my needs then-"

"Then what George!? You wouldn't have cheated on me? Or I wouldn't have found out?" Idly Tiana wonders if they're making enough of a racket that someone would call the police, and then dismisses the thought with a humourless snort. Call the police? In this part of town? _Heh funny joke._

George raises his hands in the universal gesture of peace and Tiana snaps. Ducking back behind the counter, her hands fumble with the soda machine- the kind you'd find at a bar for mixing drinks, gotten second-hand of course.

"Please Tiana, how long are you going to be hung up on that. I apologised already, sheesh woman, you're acting ridicu-" Tiana lets the non carbonated cola fly, her aim flying true, hitting dead-centre, blasting into his eyes with a vengeance.

"Dear God woman what is wrong with you!?"

George ducks out of the way as Tiana forgoes the tap and instead let's fly a scoop of rum and raisin. "Nothing-" A scoop of mint. "-Nothing is-" Another scoop of mint "-wrong with me you stupid jerk."

George huffs. "I'm sorry but if you-" He ducks, dodging another onslaught of destructive dairy "-think that throwing _ice cream_ at your _fiance_ is normal behaviour, maybe you should've been checked into Arkham like your- would you quit that!? -hideous excuse for a mother!"

"What was that about my mother you blithering wannabe lobster!?"

Tiana lunges over the counter. To hell with it, if that bastard wanted to talk bad about her family then he had another thing coming, maybe a black eye to go with his soon to be broken nose.

But someone catches her just before her hit can land, a pair of sturdy arms wrapping easily around her torso. Effectively cutting off her ensuing rant but instead redirecting the force of her anger.

Her head snaps back, ready to slam into some idiotic interfering pansy, when the arms release, and she meets nothing but air, stumbling a little.

"Woah there spitfire."

Tiana's first thought is _'cute'. _Her second is '_Who the hell does this idiot think he is?'_

Sky blue eyes dance laugh at her as she straightens up, bad posture disappearing as she subconsciously tries to make herself taller in front of this new threat. "Who the hell are you?"

Blue flashes her an easy going smile, along with a badge. Looking from Tiana, in all her rumpled apron glory, to George, splattered in cola and ice-cream, and looking more stunned than a fish thrown onto the deck of a disco-party-cruise.

"Well I was the knight coming to protect a damsel in distress-" Tiana's eyes sharpen and she glares, opening her mouth before he cuts back in with a small chuckle "-but when I arrived I found that there were none."

He bows, and Tiana would have to be blind not to appreciate the view, shirt tight but not too tight- perfectly form fitting in fact. As Tiana was recently short a fiance she had no shame in ogling such a specimen, just window shopping of course. She didn't need no mysterious pretty boy. She'd had enough of men for a while.

"Richard Grayson at your service mam."

Tiana's brow furrows. "Your name sounds familiar, we related or something?" Because oh god this better not be another one of her 'distant relatives' crawling out of the woodwork. Didn't they get the point? She didn't have money to spare.

George seemed to choke on air, and idly Tiana entertained the thought that she actually managed to do some real damage. _Oh I'm sorry officer, my hand slipped, I had no idea that a sprinkle shaker could do so much damage. Honest._

A smirk and a quick flash of ID. "Blüdhaven police department, mam. I'm off duty- I was walking past when I heard the uh… disturbance."

Unfortunately George seemed to miraculously recover, and surprise surprise, started talking. "Officer Grayson- this crazy woman violently attacked me as I attempted to buy a simple ice-cream. I demand that she be arrested at once."

Oh shit. No he did not get to pull that card. "What the hell do you mean I attacked you!? You blimen-" Tiana felt the slowly dimming rage flare back with all the force of a tornado riding on the back of a hurricane.

"-See she's vicious. This is harassment, please good sir arrest this woman."

"-piece of shit, you think your so much better than me, just because you have something dangling between your legs, well guess what mister, you have yet to actually man up and grow a pair-"

"-An absolute tramp; Do you know she used to be my fiance? But then I caught her cheating with my brother, it was heartbreaking really, and now to find she's _stalking _me-"

"If you don't mind sir, I have to ask that you kindly vacate the premises"

"Stalking!? Why you-" Tiana cuts herself off. Mr Grayson, is still smiling at both of them, but it seems a little strained at the corners. Oops. Maybe they'd given the poor bugger a headache. Well, his fault for sticking his nose in their business.

George gapes at him. "What- but this woman attacked me." He points at Tiana and she sticks her tongue out. Childish maybe. Satisfying? Definitely.

Pretty boy looked at him sceptically. "She… attacked you did you say? So she hit you?" His eyebrow raises sarcastically "Did she perhaps stab you? Do you require me to call an ambulance?"

George seemed to deflate. "No.. but she… ruined my new suit!"

Mr Grayson hums. "So… you want me to arrest her, because she splashed a bit of pop on your suit? Sorry, I'm off duty."

Turning back to the rest of the store requires an enormous amount of trust. Tiana's not as naive as to believe that this Mr Grayson didn't have some strange ulterior motive up his sleeve- this was the shady part of town after all. But he didn't _seem_ like a bad person, so she'll leave him to kick her no good ex to the god damned curb whilst she busies herself with cleaning up the state of chaos she'd accidentally left the store in.

Turns out throwing various things such as ice cream or sprinkles made quite the mess. Who knew?

Tiana must have zoned out or something, because the next thing she knew, the floor was clean, and George was gone- as was Mr Grayson. And her crappy shift is back to normal, and business was picking up enough, that she soon forgot all about it. Once again erasing any encounters with her asshole of an ex firmly from her mind.

Only when her shift finally ended, and she was closing up for the day, ready for her seven hours of sleep before tackling the world again in the morning- did she notice the scrap of paper tucked squarely between the two boxes of napkins.

'_You know restraining orders are pretty easy to get... I know a guy. '_

_-D.G_

A snort and the scrap piece of paper is tucked securely away in her purse. And it stays there as she walks home, trudging up the stairs to her apartment and flopping down on the bed lacking any ounce of grace whatsoever.

_What a day._

* * *

Of course what Tiana hadn't realised, was that- their first encounter was actually the start of what would grow to be a long and beautiful friendship.

_How much of an utterly terrible cliche is that?_

* * *

"Get out."

Seriously this was like the fifth time he'd been in here in two weeks. Couldn't he see that she was too done to deal with this crap? Probably not actually. Idiot seemed to think they were friends, which meant he also saw fit to 'drop in' every time she had the late shift.

"Aww but you love me."

Tiana rolls her eyes. "Grayson, either order a damn ice-cream or scram. I picked this shift because it's quiet. What kind of lunatic shops in an _ice-cream _parlor, at-" A quick glance at the clock. "-Nine forty seven… in _December._"

Grayson pouts at her and Tiana has to remind herself, very forcefully, that she is not allowed to stab the man-child with a spoon.

"But Green-" What was with that ridiculous nickname anyway? Her eyes were hazel, not green. "-I've been hard at work, running on nothing but terrible coffee fumes-" She twitches slightly. Oh no. He was not playing that card, not to her; the cliche broke college student forcefully shoving her way through life with a dead-end job and an old cockatoo that knew more swears than she did. "-and all I wanted to do was to see my caring and wonderful friend."

He places a hand on his heart like he's been shot and all Tiana can manage is one very dramatic unimpressed eyebrow.

"And of course to buy a scoop of your finest vanilla." The eyebrow lowers itself and Tiana schools her face into a pleasant smile.

"Right away sir, anything else?" Her eyes cut towards the depressingly empty tip-jar, and he sighs, but Grayson's smiling so she thinks he understands that she's teasing. Which she's not. Because they would have to be friends for her to tease. Which they're not. Besides, a few less dollars never hurt anyone.

Twelve dollars and fifty cents lighter, Grayson's perched on a table licking his ice-cream- because apparently chairs were overrated- and Tiana's blood-lust has diminished, now that he's a 'paying customer.'

She could leave him alone, let him stew in silence whilst he sits there- probably contemplating all the ways he could continue to annoy her- or she could open her damn mouth and say whatever comes to mind in an attempt to get some conversation going.

"So Grayson-" Yeah that's it. Conversation- like a normal person. Ask him something boring; normal. You got this Tiana. "-Are all your family as annoying as you, or are you just special?" He chokes on a laugh and immediately she regrets the possible can of worms she just opened.

Grayson continues laughing and her face starts to heat up- Tiana turns around and starts viciously scrubbing at an odd stain, on the topside of one of the red booths. "Sorry, sorry- It's just you're pretty blunt sometimes." He snickers. "They're all pretty weird I guess-" He leans back, holding his hand up and licking droplets of melted ice cream off his fingers. "I've got a… big family. Gets pretty crazy sometimes." His head tilts, and he looks over to her curiously. "What about you Green? Got any family?"

Tiana chucks a box of napkins at him. "Got a mother. That's about it. Favorite colour?"

Grayson hums a little, thinking. "Celtic Blue." That's… oddly specific, and Tiana shoots him a weird look before her face clears with understanding.

"Oh so like that bird-guys colours yeah? What you a fan of his?"

Grayson looks absolutely scandalised. "Bird-guy!? His name is Nightwing and he's the protector of our city. How could you not remember his name!?"

Tiana just shrugs, unconcerned. And uncaring about Grayson's apparent fan boy status. "There are plenty of heroes in the world and whilst it's nice that Blüdhaven has one now, It's of no interest to me specifically. What's your favourite uh… animal?"

Grayson shakes his head in mock surrender, apparently offended by her casual dismissal of the bird-guy. Oh well. Tiana's never cared much for crusading halfwits. "It's a robin, probably." His voice turns a little sad, a little wistful but Tiana shrugs it off. None of her business, they were just play an impromptu game of twenty questions to pass the time after all. "Why do you refuse to call me Dick? We're friends _Green_-" He stresses the name with a smirk. "-and friends use each other's nicknames. Hell I think I'd take being called 'Big D' over Grayson.-" He shudders. "-my little brother calls me that and it's weird hearing it from someone who's only a tad psycho."

Tiana snorts before covering it up with a poorly timed cough. "I am not calling you anything that could be remotely taken for a bad innuendo or a dick joke. I refuse." Her hand shoos him off the table as she starts wiping it down. "And I know an idiot named Richard already. No sense calling the both of you that and getting confused." Tiana pauses. Wondering if her next question would be an overstep. It probably would be. So she asks instead "How much product do you use on your hair?"

Grayson grins at her. "I'll have you know I only use a little of the best; Can't have my dashingly handsome self looking anything less than perfect. Can you play piano?"

She looks at him in confusion. "No. Why would you expect that?"

He shrugs. "You have the hands for it, figured you'd be the type to enjoy the more classical stuff."

Tiana thinks she should tell him that no, she was not the type for classical music, and instead had an entire CD rack, filled with punk and old style rock. But instead she shrugs. "Maybe. Never had the time to learn an instrument, not then, not now."

Grayson studies her, in an unnerving uncharacteristically silent sort of way, he opens his mouth and Tiana fears that it's going to be something actually _sensible _when- "Yeah- I've never met a composer with pink, purple and white-" He gestures to her hair. "You're much better suited to scooping ice-cream. This way, if you ever need to hide, you can just jump right in the freezer and no one would ever notice you." He says it with so much seriousness that Tiana's brain takes a second to work through that sentence and to realise he sort-of just insulted her hair. How dare he. No one is allowed to sort-of insult her hair. No one.

He dodges the ensuing aerial attack of plastic spoons and chocolate wafers with the grace of a ballet dancer, laughing like pushing her buttons was, and forever would be a normal and daily occurrence.

Unfortunately, Tiana realised staring at the neatly typed and ultimately unassuming sign, stuck to the window the next day; It probably would be. It was quite a simple poster- Blocky white font on one of those free stock-image photos. Looking all the world like it belonged there, and for all she knew, it probably did.

_'Beware of flying Ice Cream_

_Enter at your own RISK'_

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**Welp. There you have it folks the first little chapter of this not-to-be-taken-too-seriously fic. Because really, it only was started because I really really wanted to throw ice-cream at someone. Sorry If Dick's a bit OOC. First time writing for him, so he'll probably get better over time... maybe. **

**Please leave a review, to let me know if you like it- or hated it. **

**Either way you'll make my day! Also- Let me know if any of y'all would be interested in being a beta-reader.**

**~Tap**


	2. A Little Birdy Told Me

**Woah hello again! It's me Tap with an early update!**

**This story got its first review- Shoutout to the awesome shejams!-  
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**And it made me so happy that I got right to work on the second chapter! Thank-you so much if you've given this story a favourite or a follow! I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far! This chapter takes place a few weeks after the first.  
**

**So without further ado- Here's an early update- It's chapter two!**

**(I don't own Batman)**

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**Beware Of Flying Ice Cream:**

Chapter Two: A Little Birdy Told Me...**  
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(Alternate Chapter Title: Tiana makes dumb decisions.)

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"Rightyo, here you go mam- One cookie dough crunch sundae, with an extra ounce chocolate syrup, two oreo biscuits, one spoonful of rainbow sprinkles, and with _exactly _eight swirls of ice-cream." Tiana gently sets her creation down on the counter, watching in dazed sort of irritation as the moronic creature in front of her, screws up its nose in disdain.

"I said two ounces of chocolate syrup-" Tiana's mind flashes to an earlier conversation with one of her coworkers- on the afternoon shift.

"_Tiana- you can't keep glaring at the customers! One of these days the you-know-what is going to swing by to find out why his profits are going down- and he's going to see you glaring at all our business and you're going to get fired!"_

_A roll of the eyes. "He's not going to drop by Meg, when was the last time you saw a glimpse of his sorry arse anywhere near us? Other than to hand over our paychecks of course."_

_Meg counts out the correct change in her palm, passing the money over with a bright smile, and a bubbly laugh. "Thank you, come again!" Her voice rises over the din once more, embracing the lull in foot-traffic. "It won't be that way for long, if you keep scaring everybody away. Hell Tiana, just smile and try not to shove any more ice-cream in someone's hair alright? I like you. Last idiot I had working with me was deader than a drowned rat floating down the sewer pipes."_

_Meg's hands clasp the lever on the soft-serve machine. "Look just practise breathing or something. You got the late-shift because your tough, not because you act it. You've already had one strike, two more and your out."_

"That will be six dollars please." Tiana's voice drones out in a monotone, resisting the glare but lacking anything that could even be remotely described as enthusiasm. Those swirls were perfect damn it. A little less chocolate syrup never hurt anyone.

The girl huffs, pulling out a shiny black card that couldn't have looked more out of place than her hairdo. Tiana's eyes flick from the card, to the girl, and then back again. "We don't take credit-" _Although that was because her boss had forgotten to replace the PDQ _"-cash only." Her thumb juts out, pointing to the sign on her left. "Cash only."

The girl sneers, before rummaging around her wallet with a sigh, pulling out a crumpled one hundred dollar bill, and Tiana fights to keep her annoyance from visibly flitting across her face. And instead starts going through the register- as a general rule only two hundred or under was kept in there as a time, the rest was stored in the safe out back. '_To deter thieves.' _Rarely would they keep anything higher than a fifty in the tray, which meant- she had to sort through all these smaller bills. To find the _correct_ amount of change.

Tiana's eyes rise up along with her hands, dumping the pile of bills and coins in the lady's hand, along with the sundae. "Thanks for your patronage." Do not sneer, just be civil. "Come again."

The customer rolls her eyes, dumping the change in the tip bin with a careless wave and Tiana doesn't know whether to be pleased or to slap her across the face for wasting so much money. Her eyes stay locked on the tip-jar in confusion. What was the correct course of action here? Her voice rises as she turns to leave. "Wait."

The lady pauses, the clacking of her ridiculously overpriced heels stops. "_What?_" How one person could sound so damn rude with one word was a mystery. It was almost impressive.

Tiana awkwardly tucks her hair behind her ear, feet shuffling as she looks across the store- Oh look an unclean table; How interesting.

"You don't want to walk around like that in these parts, lady, it's not…" A puff of annoyed air escapes her. Crap, maybe that idiot's conscience was rubbing off on her. "-It's not exactly a safe area. You best get out of here whilst you've still got a bit of daylight left."

"Are you threatening me!?" There's a screech of outrage and Tiana's stare whips up from it's gaze upon the floor.

"What!? No- I'm trying to give you a bit of advice damn it." It wasn't like she meant for it to sound like a threat. Maybe she wasn't all that adept at hiding her bitterness today, but at least she was sort of trying to do the right thing.

The lady turns her nose up with a haughty giggle. "I don't need your advice." And without another word, she strides out, the door swinging shut behind her.

Tiana bristles, but the anger evaporates as she sets her eyes upon the tip jar. At least she tipped well. But she'd be dead by the morning.

The clock seemed to chime ominously from it's post upon the wall. Each passing second, ticking by, louder and more daunting than the first. _No. _Tiana chides herself. _This is not your problem. It's almost closing- you need to clean up instead._

The haze outside, seemed to be spreading. The dark clouds, threatening to suffocate the city. _Stuck up primadonnas are not your problem Tiana. Ice cream is. _

Her feet plod to the door and she sticks her head out. _No- Tiana no. _Her customer was still in sight, strolling aimlessly, a fair way down the sidewalk. _See, she's fine. No need to do anything stupid. _She was about to head into gang territory. She'd be eaten alive if she kept going at that pace.

Tiana's locks the door, keys jingling as she switches the plate on the door to closed. _You dunderhead Tiana. She doesn't need your help. She's fine._

Nevertheless, Tiana's legs start working, the soles of her leather boots scuffing against the concrete. A winter wind whips up, and she shivers a little. She may work in an ice-cream parlor but holy smokes was it cold. She should've brought a jacket.

Her taser weighs down her back pocket, it probably shouldn't be as comforting as it is, but Tiana's never been one for sacrificing security over morals.

_Oh shit. _She stops, eyes scanning the road ahead, nothing. Nothing but garbage, derelict buildings, and about five burly figures dragging something into an alley.

_Right_. Because that's not totally conspicuous _at all. _Her fingers twitch and Tiana debates investigating further- because you know; that would be a completely ludicrous idea. She's 5'5 and whilst she's not exactly _short_, she's never exactly been the tallest swirl on the cone.

Nevertheless she starts walking forward- muttering to herself about stupid rich idiots who seemed to think that money solved everything.

The closer to the alley she ventured. The more she could hear the sounds of someone's muffled yelling. _Oh crap _was this a kidnapping or something else? _Heh, I thought kidnappings were only used in movies or comic books to reinforce how rich a person is. _Great. She should really turn around now- maybe call the cops. Not that they'd come but she could always try. _Maybe she should call Di- Mr Grayson? _Oh even better. That fool's stupid nickname was starting to stick. _Oh pink speckled cheetos! _She can hear words now.

A gun goes off and Tiana's instinctively taking a step backwards, a hand flying to her taser. Her heartbeat pounding savagely. Now might be the time to run.

There's a lot of thumping and cursing and it almost sounds like… _Are they beating themselves up? _

Brandishing her taser out in front like it's some sort of sword Tiana pokes her head out and around the corner. Only to find herself face to face with a very surprised looking Bird-guy. If vigilantes could look surprised that is. It was kind of hard to tell actually, what with the white pupils and the whole domino-mask aesthetic, thing going on.

"What are you doing here?" Bird-guy's voice drags her out of her musings and Tiana's brow furrows just a bit because that is not what she expected him (Well, Tiana's assuming it's a he, but you never know, they could just as well not be) to sound like.

Her mouth opens, as she fumbles for an excuse, gaze flicking from the gobsmacked fashionista leaning against the alley, to the groaning mass of thugs on the ground, and then back to the hero. Tiana finds she doesn't have one, so instead, she parrots back "What are _you _doing here?" Crossing her arms over her chest, and almost shocking herself with the electrodes of her taser.

The hero stares at her for what seems like an eternity and Tiana starts to fidget in agitation. Feeling an immense wave of guilt, and then possibly anger, before she gestures rudely to the shell-shocked victim. "She was in my store… acting all rich and snobbish-" Her shoulders rise up, and fall back down in the perfect replica of a sulking teenager trying to avoid getting grounded. "-And I thought to myself that she was gonna get herself stabbed. And damn it, she tipped well so I… followed her… out of gratitude"

Tiana clears her throat a little, embarrassed at herself at Bird-guy's continued stare. "You… followed someone, you knew was likely to be mugged-" Neither of them paid any mind to the lady who had by now, sunk down against the wall. "-Without calling the police, or alerting _anyone _to the fact that you were also likely to be _mugged_."

His voice rises towards the end, and Tiana can practically see the disbelief rolling off him. "Are you _insane_?"

Oh hell no. "_Excuse_ me?" Her former guilty expression is replaced in an instant, the all-too-familiar scowl back on her face like it never left.

"You're a civilian-" There's a bit of frustration leaking into his voice. Wow- for a hero he really needed to get a grip on his emotions. "What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that a customer-" Her hands rise up, and start waving animatedly "-was going to get her royal arse handed to her-"

"You don't have any training, nor are you equipped to handle multiple threats at-"

"-And because I actually give a flaming crap, unlike most of this city might I add-"

"-Once. You willingly put yourself, and the victim in danger. You should've called someone-"

"I am not taking life advice from some masked, birdbrained, idiot. Who's running around in spandex-"

"It is not spandex! And I am fully trained and qualified-"

"To be working at a strip bar maybe, but do any of you heroes actually have a _license_?"

"W-what?" His voice tapers off in uncertainty, but Tiana's on too much of a roll now to care. Jabbing her finger into his chest."Vigilantes!? Do any of you actually have a license or some crap that say you have any right to run head first into danger of the rest of the population!? If I damn well want to run around like a headless chicken trying to electrocute people in a fancy-dandy costume- then why the hell can't I?"

"Like I said before- _we_\- meaning _me- _are trained. _You_-" He accentuates the word with a frustrated growl "-Are not. Because you are a civilian. Whose day job is working at an _ice-cream parlor._" Tiana goes to bite something back but stops. Her brow scrunching up in confusion.

"How did you know that?" Her arms come to rest on either side of her hips as she glares up at the hero.

"What?" He sounds annoyed. Good. Serves him right for attempting to lecture her the jerk.

Tiana's eyes narrow. "That I worked at an ice-cream parlor. I never told you that."

"Yes you did." He sounds on guard, but the tone he uses; It's like he's talking to a particularly dense toddler, and it makes Tiana's hackles rise.

"No. No I didn't- I told you that I was working at my _store. _I never told you what that was." Tiana holds her taser out in front like it was a weapon. "So wanna try that again, huh buddy?" Idly some part of her realises that she could never be a match for him, and that her 'threat' was about as threatening as a disgruntled kitten.

"The name's _Nightwing_ and look- I don't have time for this." He sighs, hand flying up to pinch the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb. "Look, the police are on their way alright. Just stay. Here." And before Tiana can say rhubarb, he's gone. Grappling away, and into the night. It doesn't stop her from throwing her shoe at him of course- It misses but that's not the point.

Tiana throws her hands up in the air and turns her gaze to the still-in-shock lady on the ground. "Can you believe him?"

She kicks her shoe into the pavement, before wincing in pain and grumbling under her breath. "Stupid Jerk. Didn't even answer the damn question."

The sound of sirens hits her ears and Tiana debates just walking away, but the woman staring at her stops her in her tracks. "Damn, this is gonna be a bitch to explain huh?" With a noisy exhale, Tiana sits herself down next to the blissfully silent lady.

"How much do you wanna bet that I'm going to get arrested?"

* * *

It turns out, that Tiana does not in fact, get arrested. However she does get _yet another_ lecture. And then _another. _And then by the end of the night, she's had at least _four _lectures, almost punched several people, and, apparently, because of her absolutely _wonderful _luck; had to spend _three _freaking hours, getting interrogated by some macho asshole with a bad crew cut, and sipping crappy coffee at the station.

Seriously. She had nothing to do with this; Not to mention; Tiana didn't give a damn that this macho asshole was the chief. It wasn't that she trusted, or even liked Nightwing. But no way in hell was she ratting him out to this guy. She could almost taste the pollution. If he ever came by her parlor. She was so going to spit in his milkshake.

With yet another repetition of her answers, spouting the same old crap she'd told the idiot when she first got here, Tiana was ready to deck him. 'No I do not know who Nightwing is. Yes he was already there when I got there. No I did not see what he looked like. Blah, Blah, Blah.' She just wanted to go home already.

"Chief Redhorn sir- there's been a lead on the Smith case." Tiana has never ever been more grateful to someone in her entire life. Smiling brightly at Dick, as he pushes the door open, supposedly unaware of her presence.

"Can't you see I'm in the middle of something rookie!?" Francis Redhorn's firm stare bores into Dick, as he appears to notice Tiana for the first time. _Liar- He waved when I came in. _

"Uh sorry sir- I guess I can drop these off after your finished-"

"No need." Tiana smoothly cuts in, flashing a sneer at Chief Redhorn. "I was just leaving." The man almost goes as purple as a scoop of boysenberry Ice-cream but Tiana couldn't care less. She may have locked up, but she still had to get back elsewise she'll get another strike for not cleaning the store properly.

She all but knocks Dick down in her haste to leave, but manages to flash a smirk back over her shoulder as the door shuts behind her with a bang.

Dick- who had recovered and slipped out behind her, falls easily into place. Walking next to Tiana, humming the latest pop song under his breath.

"Sooo-" He draws out the sound, easily stepping in front of her to block her rampage through the station. "Need a lift?" He grins, the smile not quite reaching his eyes and briefly Tiana wonders if she's done something wrong.

"No." She huffs out. "I can walk." She goes to step around him when once again- he twists and repositions himself in front of her.

Dick raises a brow. "Hmm. It's a half-hour walk from here to the store."

Tiana can feel the anger growing again. What was with people today? And thinking she was weak damn it? "I am perfectly capable of walking thank you. I have legs. I'm going to use them." Again, she walks around him, but this time he doesn't step out in front, and using it to her advantage, Tiana surges forward, marching steadily towards the door.

"Tiana. Wait will you?"

His hand lands on her shoulder and it happens so fast, that soon Tiana finds herself staring at the steadily growing red mark pulsing on his cheek. Her hand still raised in the air from where she struck. "Sorry-" She winces. She'd always had a bit of a bad reflex to that. "Reflex."

Dick blinks and Tiana gets hit with the distinct impression that she was once again being studied. Taking a breath she explains "Dick- I have had a _very_ long afternoon full of idiots, and I really, really would just like some time to myself. Please."

He's silent for a moment before a wide grin splits across his face. "You called me Dick."

Tiana takes back any gratitude she ever had for this guy. Ever. "What." Her voice is flat. Maybe she should slap him again? No- she was in a precinct full of cops. Probably not the smartest idea.

Dick laughs, the sound is actually quite pleasing, but Tiana feels her eyebrow raise anyway. His arm slings over her shoulder and she just barely resists the urge to introduce his face to her fist and instead growls at him.

He ignores her, laughing and instead steering her towards the door- the earlier tension broken. "I knew we were friends Green." He throws his arms out, and Tiana inwardly likens him to a peacock. "-and because we're friends." He continues, thoroughly distracting. "-You're going to hop in the passenger side, and I'm going to give you a lift."

Wait what? Her heels plant in the ground but he stops pushing so she almost trips herself up.

"I'm not just going to let you walk back in the dark and in the _rain _Green." What? It was raining? Oh. Right fine. If it was raining she'd hitch a ride- but that was the _only _reason.

"Fine." She slides into the passenger side, just as Dick turns the key in the ignition. The porsche roars to life, and pulls out of the parking lot.

It's silent for a few minutes before Tiana opens her mouth to try and clear away the awkwardness. "You… drive a porsche?"

Dick chuckles, pulling out into the right hand lane. "Yep. She's a good car."

The silence returns for a few minutes, minus the sound of rain, pattering on the roof. Tiana has never been good with quiet. Not really. "I met your favourite bird-guy today."

That starts the conversation, Dick glances over to her before returning his gaze to the road. "Oh really? Was he as devilishly handsome as me in real life?"

Tiana scoffs. "Not really he was a total jackass though." Dick coughs, a little startled, and Tiana feels the need to elaborate. "I mean, don't get me wrong, saving people is great and all but do you know I've been lectured _four _times today!? The first time was him and I'm blaming him for all the rest."

She continues. "So Okay. Yes I did a dumb thing. I acknowledge the fact that I did a dumb thing, and maybe next time I might think twice before following a stupid idiot out into the dark. But what was I supposed to do?" Oh yeah she's going to rant at him. He wanted her in the car, the sucker was going to have to suffer through this.

"I wasn't just going to look away because unfortunately, I'm one of those people who's cursed to actually give a bit of a shit.-" Tiana stops there to give a bit of a thoughtful hum. "-Kind of like someone else annoying that I know, who just waltzed on in to a bloody gunfight, and got himself shot in the shoulder." She scowls over to Dick, who has the grace to look a little chastised. "Actually, seeing as your the only one who _hasn't_ tried to lecture me on my crappy life choices, you're forgiven for being late to Ice-cream friday last week."

Dick coughs a little again, with a half smile on his face. "Thanks?"

Tiana huffs. "Yeah, you bet it's thanks mister. If I hadn't forgiven you you wouldn't be getting any more ice-cream." The car pulls up outside the parlor and Tiana hops out, fumbling for her key.

"This doesn't mean we're friends either- Just because you gave me a ride, and I'm using that infernal nickname, it does not make us friends… more like casual acquaintances."

Dick just nods easily, snickering. "We're friends Green. You can't deny it forever."

The door swings open and she's stepping inside- pausing once to shout a half-mumbled thanks over her shoulder.

The sound of the car pulling away has her pulling on a pair of gloves and tackling the pile of dishes in the sink.

It takes longer than it should for Tiana to realise that despite her absolutely crappy day, full of crappy people, she's smiling.

* * *

**There we go! Nightwing's turned up :D And it looks like Tiana is her usual people-friendly self.**

**In response to the first review- The rest of the batfam will absolutely be turning up at some point or other in the future. But not for the first few chapters at least :) It will be interesting to see how Tiana gets on with them won't it?**

**Thankyou!**

**As always, favouriting, following or reviewing will absolutely make my day! So if you find the time dear reader, go ahead and talk to me ^^ I don't bite! And questions fuel my imagination! (Also still looking for that Beta haha ^^)**

**~Tap**


	3. A Simple Favor

**Hey, Hey, Hey! What's this? A New Chapter :O *Gasps* With a hint of plot beginning to form? Awesome! This one is dedicated to the awesome writer-folk hanging out on Sage Thrasher's discord server. Without whom, I never would have learned the approximate weight and size of a box of ice-cream containers, or which american chain stores are best to shop for cheap but beautiful formal dresses in. (I am a kangaroo, I have no idea about these things**

**A Big Warm Thanks to everyone who gave this story a favorite, a follow or a review! Y'all make my day just that little bit brighter. ^^**

**Oh, almost forgot!**

**I DON'T OWN BATMAN... as much as I would like to.**

* * *

**Beware Of Flying Ice Cream:**

Chapter Three: A Simple Favor

(Alternate Chapter Title: Tiana agrees to something without really knowing what she agreed to.)

* * *

"Grayson."

Dick turns, withholding a sigh. _Despite _visiting the manor for the first time in a few months, he was definitely not in the mood for the antics of his youngest brother. But that wasn't Damien's fault, he reminded himself. That was just Bruce and his unrelenting… 'Bruceness.'

"Damian!" He smiles, reaching out to ruffle his brooding little brother's hair. "How've you been kiddo?"

Damian retreats, shooting Dick's hand a look of utter contempt as Dick stifles a laugh. It never got old.

"I have been well, Father has allowed me to participate on patrol once more." Dick smiles again, gentler this time.

"I'm glad you're happy Dami. Was there something you needed me for?" His smile widens and his brother takes another weary step back. "Perhaps a hug?" Dick opens his arms, beaming brightly as Damian scowls, burning holes into the broad expanse of his chest. "Come on little bro', you know you want to!"

Diving forward, and ignoring Damian's angry shouts of protest, Dick scoops his smallest brother into a hug, laughing. They both knew Damian could have easily evaded him, but neither mentioned it.

"Grayson, cease your tomfoolery this instant! I demand that I be put down immediately."

He laughs again, one hand coming realising his brother to pat the seething boy on the head. "Never." Dick winks cheekily, releasing Damian to dodge the incoming strike, with a practised ease.

Damian looks almost pleased with the attention and something uncomfortable pools in Dick's gut. _This_ was one of the many reasons that he and Bruce fought. To Bruce, Damian was a trained asset and a loyal and valuable family member. To Dick, Damian was a child. His baby brother. His baby brother, who if he had his way- would not be going anywhere near the bat cave until he was at least fifteen… not… christ, twelve.

"What are you doing here, Grayson?" Ah there it was. The inevitable truth as to Damian's appearance.

"Ah I'm just visiting, Dami. I needed to talk to Bruce about something."

If Dick were anyone else he might have missed the brief flash of disappointment that seemed to pass through Damian's eyes, and with a sigh he explained. "There's been evidence that some of the local thugs in Blüdhaven are engaged in an arms deal with one of Gotham's gangs. Normally I wouldn't bother alerting Bruce, but it's becoming a bit more of an annoyance…" Dick idly wondered if Damian realised how dejected he was looking, probably not, otherwise he'd be trying harder to hide it. "...and whilst I do have to go back today I promise I'll see you at Bruce's next party, whenever that is, okay?"

Damian huffs, turning around and striding away. "The next event Father will be holding is on Sunday. I expect to see you there with one of your-" His lip curls up into a sneer "-_dates."_

Dick laughs, watching his brother round the corner and disappear. _Wait. _Sunday? Oh crap. That was… four days away according to his phone. What was that his brother said? Bring a date? _Shit. _The only 'dates' he could think of were busy… he could always not bring one. But then that opened him up to the sharks, and if there was anything he hated more than bullies, it was being subjected to the endless stream of proposals that always came from one of Bruce's parties.

There had to be someone he could take. _Babs was busy this weekend, and he couldn't really ask one of his work colleagues… _

Dick racked his brain, thinking. There had to be someone. Someone who wouldn't crack under the pressure, or back down against Gotham's upper class. Someone who was down to earth, someone- _Ahah! _

He'd owe her big time for this. But, she was always so lonely by herself. (Not that she'd admit it) It would be good for her, to get out of Blüdhaven for a day. Granted there was the off chance that she would kill him for this, but Dick'd gladly take those odds.

* * *

"No."

Tiana's arms fold in front of her like a protective shield, no, not today, she refused.

Dick laughs, heedless of the danger he was willingly placing himself into. "Aww come on Green, It'll be fun." His fingers wiggle in front of her face and Tiana lightly smacks them away- She was making a conscious effort to be more gentle after what had happened the week before. It wasn't like she meant to leave a bruise on his face.

"Still No." She was absolutely _not _going.

"Tiana~" His voice adopts a playful lilt, dangling something in front of her face. It was a little blurry without her glasses and Tiana has half the mind to slap it away again, just to spite him. "Who was it again that saved you from the chief?" Oh _damn him. _That was a low blow.

"I said no. I'm busy." _Hah. _She was not going to be guilt tripped. She was much too hard-headed for that.

"Please?" He smirks, and Tiana has to wonder if he'd always been this devious and she's just never noticed. "I'll even let you drive." The bouncing of his hand distracts her- the clanking of a set of car keys knocking together, clears up the blurred image in her head.

She rolls her eyes. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm a little busy right now." Her voice drips with sarcasm as she hefts the boxes of ice cream containers out of the freezer, lugging them one by one to the display case. They weren't exactly heavy, and Tiana liked to consider herself to be 'In Shape' but _she was small damn it_! And carrying them out was awkward, especially since her crappy excuse for a manager, didn't believe in changing them during the off hours of _her _shift. No. So now Tiana had to switch out, _every single tub. _With a fresh flavour.

She cuts open the first box with a pair of upside down scissors- peering inside. Ah. Boysenberry.

Dick raises a brow, and curiously peers down at her; huddled over the boxes like a dragon guarding its treasure, sorting out a neat and orderly row of 16 different flavours. "You know you could have just sorted them out in the freezer, _before_ you had to carry the boxes out right?"

Tiana's hackles rise and she grumbles. She wasn't an idiot thank you very much! "The lighting is better in here." She didn't need to explain herself.

Dick hums, noncommittal. "_Right. _So anyway, please Tiana? Everyone else I asked is already busy with their own plans, and I really don't want to have to go alone." Tiana stifles a small tiny twang of something. Of course she'd be the last one he asked. It wasn't like they were close or anything else. They were just, friends. She was just the angry girl he'd met in an ice-cream parlor. That was it.

She switches out the tubs, picking up the still almost-full box with a sigh. It would probably do her some good to get out of the apartment and it wasn't like she had any other pans anyway. "Fine. But you owe me." And he did. She'd make sure of it.

"Great." His smile is practically gleaming, and Tiana's thrown off balance by his change of mood. "I'll see you at seven then?" He glances at the box, and then at the display _-like he's trying to decide if he wants to help-_ but seems to think the better of it.

Tiana nods, rolling her eyes again. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. Just scram already."

He's halfway out the door, when he chuckles, tilting his head back over his shoulder. "Can't wait until _Sundae_, but just a heads up. You might want to wear something nice or you'll be _treaten _alive."

He's out the door before the first scoop splatters against the window. And Tiana groans with regret. She was going to have to clean that up now. Her lips tug up, and Tiana tugs them firmly down again into her perpetual scowl. No. She was not allowed to find enjoyment in dumb puns. It was beneath her.

She's thirteen flavours in when the doorbell rings again and Tiana's popping up from the floor like a jack in the box. Her brain occupied with nothing but the endless desire to finish work. With a small tiny traitorous part of her mind, that was screaming about the teensy tiny problem with this whole 'Fancy Gala' thing. She had nothing to wear.

* * *

Tiana wasn't a fan of hunting for clothes. Actually, she wasn't a fan of shopping in general, but damn it- she made a promise and she's going to stick with it, even if it killed her. Which, looking at the price tag and running the numbers in her head, on her budget it probably would.

Her fingers run over the satiny burnt orange fabric, a plan forming. She didn't have to _keep _the dress. She only had to wear it. Once. All she had to do was claim the fit was wrong and she could return it tomorrow! And, it also meant she didn't have to keep holding the tags up inches from her face- _Seriously, why were all these labels so damn small?_

A quick glance around at the gaggles of excited teenage girls, and Tiana was sold. Anything to get her out of here.

Making her way to the back of the store, Tiana slipped into one of the changing rooms and tried it on. The fit was fantastic, and the colours were stunning. _It's decided then. _One dress down, everything else to go.

Forking out the bills of her wallet, and steadfastly ignoring the dirty looks from the rest of the line. What was their problem anyway? She was paying at least, just because she was taking a _little _longer than everyone else to find the right amount of cash didn't mean they had to stare damn it.

At last! She was finished. Flashing the girl behind the register a quick grimace- not bothering to hide her displeasure, Tiana is off. Fleeing the store one hundred and twenty dollars lighter- _Thank god for the big tips she'd had lately- _and on a mission.

The next item on the agenda: Shoes.

* * *

Shoes, as it turned out, were _incredibly_ hard to find. Well, at least to find a decent pair that matched her dress.

It wasn't that she didn't come across plenty of shoe-stores. It was just that, most of the good pairs had a price range upwards of two hundred or more, and Tiana wasn't ready to fork out that kind of cash for a favor.

As it was, her funding situation- or lack thereof, meant that whenever she found a bargain bin like this one, she would go through, right to bottom, searching for something _useful. _

Some brown flats? _No. Too boring. _Pink sneakers? _No thanks, My hair is as unicorn-rainbow-glitter-sparkles as it is going to get. _Red heels? _Nice- But too small._

And so, the search continued.

Black suede brogues? _Not for her. _Floral mules? _Too casual. _Tiana was getting closer, and closer to the bottom of the bin, and with a heavy heart, realised that this was yet another bust.

Irritation built, she strode out and into the _next _shoe store. Belatedly realising that this was probably going to be fruitless, but nevertheless, Tiana rolls up her sleeves and starts digging around through the next bargain bin.

* * *

It was around the _fifth _store, that Tiana hit the jackpot. Tapping the sales clerk on the shoulder, and gesturing at the display with a grim smile.

"So all of these are half-off yeah? Fifty percent discount right?"

"Yes mam." The sales clerk nods in her direction politely, before returning to assisting the next person in line.

Awesome. She could work with that. The promise of a fifty percent discount was enough to soothe her irritation.

Browsing through the section with a rapid, but keen eye, Tiana was quick to discover (Much to her delight) the perfect pair of boots. Or almost perfect. Truth be told, the perfect pair had been discovered long ago, but this was a good substitute. A good, _fairly-priced_ substitute. Sixty was still a little expensive for her tastes, but it would do.

Black, leather lace-ups. Two inch block heels- sturdy, but classy enough that Tiana wouldn't feel underdressed.

That was the second item on her list. The next item? Make up.

* * *

Make up. As it turned out- was the easiest item on her list. Tiana was able to find some on her weekly trip around her local grocery store.

Two dollar lipstick? _Check._

Five dollar blush? _Check._

Twelve dollar mascara? _Alright._

Eye shadow? _Nah._

_Hmm, what about something for my hair? Maybe a hairpin or something? Nah. I'll just leave it out, I do need to pick up some more apples, maybe some pears or something if I really feel like splurging today. _

With a half-hearted groan, Tiana continued to shop for her groceries, inwardly wincing at the amount of her savings she'd spent today. _Maybe I should've just taken Dick up on his offer. _It probably would have been the smartest choice, but Tiana was want to let anyone else pay for anything. Even if it was for her own favor. She was stubborn like that.

Onions? Did she need onions? She could make a nice stir-fry, she'd already managed to score some mince- last day before the best before date. Perfect. She'd cook it up and stick some take away portions in the freezer, make herself lunch maybe- it would beat two minute noodles for a change.

_Yeah, alright_\- Into the basket go the onions, along with some carrots, a bottle of home brand soy sauce and some frozen broccoli.

She'd be eating like a king tonight, and with that happy thought in mind, Tiana made her way to the register, altogether pleased with herself. She'd completed a few errands, picked up the groceries, and, whilst she hadn't managed to find time to get a new pair of glasses, she had picked up the 'perfect' outfit for Dick's friend's party, or ball… or whatever it is.

She probably should've paid more attention, he was a cop so maybe she was going to be a bit overdressed. _Oh well. _A little bit of style difference never hurt anybody.

* * *

A knock on her door, brings Tiana out of her musings and she's padding to the entrance, blinking sleep blearily out of her eyes, to yank it open. Perhaps a bit more aggressive than intended.

"Whatever your selling I don't want it- Dick?" Tiana blinks, surprised, the dark circles on her face deepening with the action. "What the hell are you doing here?"

He's dressed casually, faded jeans, and a dark blue hoodie. "I came to pick you up remember? I wasn't about to let you take the bus to Gotham."

It takes a while for Tiana's brain to process this, but in her defense it was four in the bloody morning. _Oh shit. _"Sorry I forgot. Come in, or something. I'll just grab my stuff." The door is pulled open a bit wider, and Tiana's shuffling back into her apartment, fluffy ugg boots scuffling against the wood.

He takes a seat and Tiana busies herself with throwing together the rest of her stuff with a yawn. They'd agreed that it would be best to leave early Sunday morning, whilst the drive would only take thirty-five minutes to reach the city, neither of them had really had any interest in getting stuck for hours in traffic navigating their way through the city, and both of them had business they planned to attend to.

Dick planned on spending the afternoon with his little brother and Tiana planned to catch up with some of her old friends, maybe visit her mother in the asylum if she had the time. Or at least that's what she'd told Dick . In reality, Tiana didn't have much of a plan, besides wandering aimlessly around the city for the day, before taking a taxi and meeting up with Dick at his father's house. Blüdhaven was much more of a home to her than Gotham had ever been.

Tiana clamps down on another yawn threatening to escape, shoving the last of her necessities into an overnight bag and throwing it over her shoulder. Before wandering out to the sitting room, and switching the kettle on. "Lousy coffee, or shitty tea?"

Her question breaks her guest out of his reverie, clearly he couldn't shut off his cop side, studying everything. Especially the sole photograph, situated high up on her bookshelf. Not that it bothered Tiana, she'd probably do the same to him. "Coffee please, you have a nice place." The compliment is insincere- they both know it's pretty crappy but Tiana takes it anyway. It was a mercy that he was content to ignore the bags under her eyes already- a fact she was thankful for, _she was too tired to deal with it this morning_\- she wasn't going to make a fuss.

"Thanks." She hands him the cup, dragging herself into the bedroom to change outfits. Hmm, maybe she'd sleep in the car. A quick half hour nap, might make her feel better at least, and then she wouldn't have to be stuck in one of those awkward-car silences again.

Exiting the room, she's only marginally surprised to find that Dick had already carried her bag to his car and is waiting for her, leaning against the car door, sipping at his coffee- Tiana had thought ahead to let him borrow her travel mug- and breathing out puffs of fresh-morning air. "Ready to go?"

"Yep." Tiana slides into the passenger seat again, buckling the seat belt, and tapping her fingers rhythmically against the dashboard.

He turns the key in the ignition, and the car roars to life with a quiet pur. Tiana takes a moment just to marvel at the beauty of such a machine. Briefly wondering once more how he'd managed to afford the thing- even as a police officer, a car like this wasn't cheap.

"So-" His voice is curious and Tiana groans, because she knew this one. It was his _detective _voice. "-was that your sister in the photo with you?" Dick pulls out onto the street as Tiana lets her head thunk against the headrest. This was going to be a _long_ drive.

* * *

**_Rightyo! That was it! The Third chapter of BOFI, complete with a special guest appearance from none other than the angsty demon ninja himself! Damian! And another special guest appearance from THE PLOT! Which has finally decided to show itself! Say hello PLOT!_**

**Plot: **

...

**Me: **

"Thanks Plot. Love your work."

**Right another special shoutout to Shejams! And Guests #1 and #2, for their wonderful reviews! **

**In Response to The Guest Reviews:**

_Guest #1: _Thankyou! And you I hope you won't be sad any longer! Here's some more, and there'll as always, be more to come!

_Guest #2: _Aww, thankyou! I'm glad you're enjoying it ^^

And that's all we have time for today folks; I apologise if you've found a spelling or grammar error that greatly offends you- let me know where it is and I'll have it swiftly eradicated. There may be a few, I've tried my best, but alas, with no beta reader I find my skills to be lacking in the editing department. There's always something I will miss.

Thankyou! And see you next time!

~Tap


	4. Lucky Black Cat

**Hello Again! Guess who? Yep! It's me Tap- bringing you another chapter of Beware-Of-Flying-Ice-cream; which I am now officially dubbing BOFI so I don't have to type that ridiculously long title again... unless I feel like it. So with the way life's going at the moment there should be an update to this story every 1-2 weeks- so keep an eye out ^^**

**As always, a big ol' hug to everyone who has favorited, reviewed or followed this story so far. ^^ Y'all make my day just that little bit better! Especially when I decide to write the next chapter instead of taking notes in class ;)**

**(I Don't Own Batman)  
**

* * *

**Beware Of Flying Ice-Cream**

Chapter Four: Lucky Black Cat

(Alternate Chapter Title: Tiana really doesn't like cats.)

* * *

"Are you sure you're alright with me leaving you here?" Tiana can hear the apprehension in the question and she stifles yet_ another_ groan of annoyance. Geesh. What was he- her mother or something?

"I'll be fine. Not like I haven't lived here for the entirety of my childhood or anything." Tiana rolls her eyes, stopping herself from slamming the door at the last minute. Such a beautiful car deserved more respect than that.

"Green." Dick's voice is flat, and uncharacteristically serious. Damn it. Now she'd have to pay attention or she'd feel bad. Or not. Actually, she should just stop this conversation right here. _'Nip it in the bud and all that._

Her shoulders hunch up, and Tiana forces herself to relax again. Leveling the idiot with an equally flat and emotionless stare. "Richard." Her tone oozes sarcasm and Tiana sighs, shouldering her backpack with a lopsided smirk. "I have lived here before. I_ know_ Gotham. I know the streets- _my_ streets, _my_ people and all that Jazz." Tiana flicks her hair over her shoulder lazily, turning around and swinging her bag to the other shoulder. "I'll be f-" Her foot catches on the sidewalk and Instead of casual and _reassuring_ indifference -_like she'd been hoping for_\- she trips; Face planting hard. Slamming into the ground as Dick stares with almost morbid disbelief.

Tiana stands, hands instantaneously brushing off whatever dirt may have accumulated on her clothes from the disgusting state of path. "Don't. Say. A. Word." Her head stays high even as Dick, slowly turns the key in the ignition. Almost daring her to get back in the damn car. _No_. She refused.

Head held high Tiana turns. Sidestepping the crack with a wide berth and looking back at Dick with an over exaggerated eye roll. "Quit your lurking would ya? Starting to look like a creeper idiot." Her hand jerks in a bastardised version of a salute and Tiana sets off; hoisting her backpack higher subconsciously.

The purr of the porsche pulls away and she lets loose a little sigh of relief. She really couldn't deal with his nosiness right now. Things to do, places to see, people to murder. The usual. Well, maybe not that last one. Unfortunately murder was illegal, even in Gotham. But brutally maiming someone? A-okay as long as no one caught you. Which was absolutely perfect.

Tiana shrugs her jacket down to her elbows, taking a breath. Ah the familiar comforts of a city that had more chaos than the entirety of all the Disneyland parks combined. It was all too easy to let go of her anger here, but just as easy to let it swallow her whole. To be consumed by the ever lingering scent of crime, the stench of pollution, that no street sweeper could ever wash away. _This_ was home.

A black cat runs across the path in front of her and Tiana takes a moment to huff in amusement, before casually sauntering across the invisible line. _Take your best shot asshat_. Pausing a moment for effect, Tiana looks around with a sarcastic snort. No mysterious objects falling out of the sky? No random rainfalls or stupid puddles? _Yeah- Didn't think so. _

Gotham; for all its faults and flaws, was actually a rather exciting city. Especially, in the upper quarter. The central business district was clean, uniform, and yet was still as chaotic as the rest of the city. It also came with the added bonus of the most expensive part of town, but Tiana wasn't staying long so it didn't matter much to her. Just one job; Pick up the parcel and then spend the rest of the day nursing a half full bottle of tequila at the back of some unknown bar. The almost perfect plan. She just had to make sure she'd be sober by the end of the day. Take it slow, and all that.

It had been a last minute decision, but she may as well kill two favors with one stone._ Heh. Maybe I'll go visit my dear old mum after all._

A quick glance to her phone let Tiana know that she still had a few hours to kill before she was due outside the office-_ What was it called again?_ Gotham Gazette or something like that?

She wasn't really in the mood to go for a walk, maybe she could duck into a cafe. It may be early, but this was one area of the city that never slept. Need an overpriced coffee at five in the freaking morning? Not a problem— Not here. Tiana knew for a fact that there were quite a lot of coffee shops that were open twenty four hours here. She used to work for a few of them after all. No, that wasn't the problem. Finding a coffee shop that was within budget. That was the problem.

Time passes and Tiana hunts; shoulders slouched, lip pulled down into a steadily growing snarl and a pounding headache from the lack of caffeine that Tiana finally, _finally_, gives up. Somehow managing to seat herself at the back of some little cafe just off fifth street. She signals to the waiter- Hair combed back, clothes fresher than she could ever hope to reach with her tiny crappy ironing board- Not that she uses it all that much…- and a smile that strains just a little when he realises that Tiana most definitely would not be wasting her money on both an expensive coffee _and,_ two pieces of tasteless bread slammed together with just a few basic ingredients on a fancy plate. _Yeah. Fat chance buster_.

The coffee itself is surprisingly delicious- but that might just be her sleep deprived brain talking. _It was always hard to tell_. Rich, creamy, and doused in so much sugar it would give Dr Pepper a run for its money. To Tiana it wasn't just_ perfect._ To Tiana, it was a godsend.

Except now it was finished, and it was almost time to find her guy. Almost, as in; there was pretty much just under five minutes until pickup time.

Scrabbling through her purse to get some money on the counter, Tiana gives a muttered swear, and exits, almost knocking over a few suits in the process.

Not even bothering with an apology, Tiana starts to hurry. Her pace quickening. _Crap_. She really couldn't be late for this. She'd told Meg, she'd grab the package from her cousin to save her the trip, and she meant it. Least she could do, her coworker was picking up her shift today, _despite_ having come down with a cold.

Sliding round the corner, Tiana's eyes nervously flick back down to her watch. _Maybe she should start running_. And she winces a little. It was already a quarter to seven, she was cutting it a bit close. Meg's cousin wasn't a patient man apparently, and she knew he wouldn't wait much longer.

The hands tick away, and Tiana glances briefly up to look around- had she already passed the turn? _Crap_. This wasn't the way she came. She was in some rich school district. _Double Crap_. Good thing it was a Sunday- no hordes of bratty children on their way to school. Oh _shit_. This meant she was well and truly lost. _Triple Crap_.

Tiana takes a breath, and looks around for a familiar landmark. _There!_ That office building a several blocks away- she'd seen that roof this morning; weird twisty metal loops- Architectural beauty some might say. Ugly waste of scrap metal- had thought Tiana. But right now there was nothing more beautiful in the world- well, except maybe a hot fudge sundae, with extra walnuts. But Tiana would take what she could get.

She's so distracted by the time, and the flashing green light of the crosswalk that Tiana nearly doesn't see the car hurtling towards her. _Nearly. _

Flinging herself the last few feet Tiana's already screaming obscenities at the lunatic, and waving her fist when the wave of disgusting puddle water splashes over her. _Oh now she's pissed_. Feeling the last threads of whatever coffee-induced pleasure that had remained in her ebb away Tiana scowls, pushing her wet curls out of her face. If she ever saw the driver in person she was going to let them have it.

Thankfully Tiana does actually manage to make it to the building, only half an hour late. What Tiana is not thankful for, is having to deal with Meg's fool of a cousin. And it takes what little patience she has left to just hold back from decking the idiot in the face, but that may be because she was storing it all, ready for whichever asshats she found tonight. Maybe she'd take it out on Dick. A little friendly sparring, to keep him on his toes. Heaven knows, he'd probably take the opportunity for a chance to lecture her on anger management again- she knew he had some martial arts training, may as well put it to the test.

Zipping her bag, Tiana stows the package safely away from her hands. Or else she might just hurl it at the next person to come past, and she'd already had a pretty crappy morning- there was no need to add a 'waste of time' to the list.

Sighing her hand scrubs at her face. _Now what?_ Admittedly her original plan for the day kind of sucked. And now she was covered in drying puddle water, so there was no way she was getting in a cab. Not like this anyhow.

She needed a shower, but that meant she had to call Dick and interrupt the idiot's family time. Despite admittedly being a bit of an asshole herself Tiana really didn't want to do that._ No_. What Tiana wanted was a drink.

And she knew just the place to get it.

Now all she had to do was get there.

* * *

"Master Dick, if you could perhaps remove your feet from the table it would be highly appreciated." The smooth british tone breaks Dick out of his musings and he moves his feet with a sheepish apology. Instead standing up to wrap the older man in a gentle hug.

"It's good to see you again Alfred. It's been a while." He squeezes a little before letting go and taking a step back.

"Yes, I do believe I just missed your last visit." The butler raises his brow, tone simultaneously amused yet reprimanding. Dick feels a little guilty at that. It wasn't like he was avoiding _Alfred_\- or his brothers for that matter. He was just avoiding Bruce.

"Sorry Alf-" His tone brightens and Dick plucks a strawberry from the bowl in the butler's hands, plopping it into his mouth with a happy moan. He hadn't realised how hungry he was. "-Did you make me fruit salad? Thanks a bunch."

Alfred hums, eyeing Dick with a hint of concern. "Have you been sleeping well master Dick?"

Dick snorts, shaking his head fondly. "Alfred I'm a grown man, I know enough about how to care of myself, and unlike some people, I do usually go to bed at a reasonable hour." Okay, so that was a slight lie, but it wasn't like his was as bad as Bruce. _No one_ could be as bad as Bruce. "Has Damian been down yet? I was hoping to take him out today. Some good old brotherly bonding."

Alfred hums again, not quite believing Dick's statement but choosing rather to politely refrain from pointing out the obvious. "Master Damian, I believe, has been rather excited for your visit. He was up quite early this morning and has been training ever since."

Dick smiles. "It'll be good for the kid to take a break for the day then. Get him away from-" He gestures in the vague direction of the bat cave. "-all of this, for a while."

"I believe that whilst master Damian might not entirely accept the idea, that he will appreciate the sentiment, master Dick. Perhaps it would be better if both of you boys could take on a few of master Bruce's cases, maybe stake out a few locations for any criminal activity, in civilian attire of course." Alfred's eyes twinkle. "To avoid suspicion."

Dick grins in return; catching on. "Of course." He laughs, looking at Alfred thoughtfully and with a hint of amused wariness. "You didn't get Bruce to use that on me did you?" He picks up the empty bowl automatically, heading to the sink before the butler can take it from him.

Alfred just raises his brow again and Dick shakes his head, face contorting into a kicked-puppy look. "Alfred how could you?"

"It was quite simple master Dick, and you I believe, were quite credulous as a boy." Alfred returns dryly. Smoothly intercepting Dick's attempt to wash his own dishes. "I understand that master Damian should be practicing his sparring right now. It would do you both good if you were to perhaps join him." It isn't phrased as a question and Dick chuckles again.

"Alright, alright. I'm going, I'm sorry for invading your territory." He smiles and waves to Alfred, taking the all too familiar track to the cave's secret entrance.

He missed these moments. The little things.

* * *

Tiana's going to kill that stupid cat.

She didn't set out from her house this morning with the intention to commit murder but damn it she was well past being peaceful and easy going now.

Three puddles, four collisions on the walkway, one spilled coffee, a tin of paint and two _freaking_ splodges of bird shit now smeared all over her jeans.

People are switching to the _opposite side_ of the road, in order to get away from her for pete's sake.

Tiana is an angry, fuming mess, and she damn well knows it. But she's an angry, fuming mess, who's going to rid this city of one more evil if it's the last thing she achieves in her life. Ever.

Now… all she had to do was catch the thing .

* * *

"Hey Dami, I've got an idea... Why don't you come with me today? I've got a few places I need to stake out and I'd like it if I had some back up-" Dick pauses, rolling neatly backwards as his murderous little brother lunges. "Bruce is out and you're the next best thing." Dick beams at his murderous little brother, blocking the ensuing strike and reciprocating with a hit of his own.

Damian rolls backwards, dodging and straightening up when Dick holds up his hands to call their spar to a standstill. "Too weak to handle this on your own Grayson?" Damian sneers, his chin rising in pride. "Typical."

"Is that a yes little brother?" Dick stretches, tossing Damian a bottle of water. "Pleeease?" He draws out the sound, laughing as Damian scowls.

"Father would not be pleased if I left you to die like the pathetic creature you are."

"Aww I never knew you cared."

"Grayson."

"Yeah kiddo?"

"Shut up."

Dick snickers as Damian rolls his eyes in irritation, grabbing his robin costume. Dick stops him, gesturing for him to put it back in the case. "Undercover Dami. No suits."

"Undercover? Surely you're joking." Dick can hear the confusion and tries to keep his snickers inside.

"Nope. Not joking kiddo." He tosses a pile of clothes towards the brat and points to the stairs. "Meet me outside in ten. We've got work to do."

Damian eyes the chosen garments with no small amount of disgust but nevertheless concedes to Dick's demands. Just what was Grayson up to?

* * *

"Come here you stupid cat. C'mon, aunty Tiana has a little present for you."

Tiana wasn't sure what kind of expression was on her face at the moment. But it lay somewhere a little passed thunderous, and possibly closer to the range of 'demonic.' She wasn't really going to kill the cat... Probably. If she's honest, Tiana was really just itching for something to do, and taking her anger out on a wild goose chase seemed like a good start.

Her hands flip over a few more cardboard boxes- the alleys here were full of them. _Go figure_. -When something catches her attention.

_"Meow."_

No. Surely not. It couldn't be that simple. There's no way.

Tiana turns slowly, gaze locking onto a shape at the end of the alley, by a fire escape. A small, furry, shape. A small, black, furry shape with gold eyes and a scruffy coat.

"_Meow."_

The cat mews again, gazing with its beady little monster eyes as Tiana stares it down flatly, one foot slowly moving in front of the other.

"_Meow._" The thing licks its paws, un-bothered as Tiana approaches, face twitching in anger.

The cat looks up. It blinks at Tiana.

"_Meow." _

It runs.

Tiana follows.

* * *

"Grayson!"

Damian snarls, furious as Dick tilts his head quizzically from his perch on the monkey bars.

"Get down from there this instant! We have work to do, and we can't waste any more time with your foolishness."

Dick laughs, swinging himself into a handstand.

"Sorry Dami, no can do. I can't disappoint the crowd." Indeed there is a group of kids watching them in amazement, and in Damian's case- fear.

"Grayson." Damian growls, his hand absentmindedly picking up a stick. "Get down from there before I make you."

Dick jumps down with a perfect roll and a bow to their audience, picking up his own stick with a smile. "En guard, little brother."

Damian's lips twitch up of their own accord as he races toward his older brother, only one thing on his mind- victory.

* * *

Tiana takes it back. She's not going to kill the cat, because she's going to probably die chasing it halfway across the damned city.

"Slow-" _Huff. "-_Down-_" Huff "_-You-" _Huff "-_Mangy-" _Huff _"-Beast!"

Screeching at the cat achieves absolutely nothing. But it does make her feel a little bit better.

_"Meow."_

The cat jumps clean over a park fence and Tiana decides then and there that this is no longer about revenge. It's about pride.

* * *

Dick passes the stick of cotton candy to Damian with a small smirk on his face. His brother is smiling (Not that Damian actually realised he was smiling) in a totally non creepy 'I'm-going-to-paint-the-walls-with-your-blood kind of way' but in a 'I'm-actually-super-pleased-but-I'm-not-going-to-let-you-see-it' kind of way, and it's absolutely adorable.

He flips idly through the recent photos on his phone with a grin. He was so going to send these to Alfred. Actually, maybe he'd just send them to everybody, even Bruce.

Taking another selfie, Dick spares a thought to what Tiana's up to, but shrugs it off. It was getting later in the day but she'd said she was going to visit her mother, and she'd call if she needed a ride. Right now he was focusing all his attention on his baby brother.

His baby brother who was currently trying to eat his enormous stick of cotton candy without it obscuring his line of vision. Anything for the sake of undercover work. Dick thinks with a grin.

_Oh yeah. This is definitely the Best. Day. Ever. _

* * *

Tiana hauls herself up the fire escape without a second of hesitation. _Oh no you don't punk._

Perhaps, if she'd had a moment to catch her bloody breath, she'd have realized that this probably wasn't the safest thing to do. Scaling an old broken fire-escape, onto a random rooftop whilst chasing the cat from hell.

Perhaps, but in that moment Tiana was far too worked up to give a crap.

* * *

Damian knows what his fool of a brother is up to.

It's pathetic really, all these excuses. Clearly his brother has forgotten what their mission was and is just stalling for time. No matter. Damian will find the mark by himself. He'll show his brother and his father that he is clearly worthy of being robin.

* * *

Tiana seethes, holding the squirming bundle of fur securely in her arms and as far away from her face as she can manage.

"I hate you."

The cat purrs happily in response. Like it hadn't just scratched the ever living hell out of Tiana's arms. She had battle wounds now for heaven's sake. She was bleeding! She had gaping tears in her skin.

Tiana holds it out, studying the mangy beast, as it proceeds to stare at her imploringly. No signs of ownership- intelligence and street smarts. Clearly, the thing was a stray.

"Hell no."

It purrs again, and Tiana shakes her head.

"I have no money or food or anything, I can't take care of a cat. Get lost." She sets it down, hoping the thing will turn around and run. But it doesn't. _Of course, _it doesn't. No. Instead, it rubs its disgusting matted fur up against her leg, acting cute and innocent.

Tiana retreats, edging towards the fire escape, before turning around and bolting.

"_Meow?"_

Tiana freezes. _Don't look. Don't do it Tiana. Don't you dare-_

She looks. _Shit. _Had the hell beast always looked so... small?

"Fine."

Shuddering Tiana picks it back up, and looks it dead in the eye, the scratches on her arms beginning to sting.

"But I'm calling you Demon."

* * *

"Yo Dami." Dick waves his brother over and Damian tenses. Had Dick remembered the mission? Had he spotted the mark? "Time to go, today was a bit of a bust. Sorry for wasting your time."

Damian scoffs. "As you should be. We wasted the whole day, with your _antics. _Father will be so disappointed in you Grayson. Can't even manage to track down one man." He almost licks his fingers as he finishes the last of his confectionery, tossing the stick into the trash with perfect grace.

He misses Dick's smile as they walk to the car. "Oh Dami- I took your advice and invited a friend to the gala. She's coming over in about an hour or so, try not to kill her."

Damian tsks. "Worried I'll scare the harlot off?"

Dick snickers. "Hardly. She can take whatever you throw at her- figuratively. Please don't throw actual things at her, like knives, or punches." He pauses. "Also don't call people harlots. It's rude, and she's just a friend- so _behave_."

Damian huffs. "Unlike Todd I actually do have a bit of decorum Grayson. Just keep the bimbo out of my way and we'll be fine."

* * *

The taxi pulls up outside the Wayne residence and all Tiana can do is stare, swiveling her head to growl in annoyance at the Taxi driver.

"What the hell? I think you got the wrong address buddy, and I sure as hell ain't paying you anymore for your mistakes." She'd already been charged extra as is- but that was more for the angry demon cat, and the fact that she was probably getting dirt all over the backseat.

The taxi driver shrugs. "This is the address you gave me lady. Wayne residence- Either you get out, or you pay more."

Tiana scowls, stepping out of the car. Maybe she could ask the owner of the estate to call her another cab- she was in the middle of freaking nowhere, but _like hell_ would she give that swindler anything else. She sighs, hand coming up to press the buzzer on the gate and explain the misunderstanding when it opens by itself.

"Tiana?"

She blinks, staring in total confusion. This... this was Dick's house? But no. That couldn't be right. This was the _Wayne Residence. _Dick was just a cop from Blüdhaven wasn't he?

"Tiana? Are you alright?"

That was definitely Dick. But this didn't make sense. Why would... Wait. Didn't Bruce Wayne have a ward named Grayson?

The penny drops.

"Tiana, hey- snap out of it!" There's fingers snapping in front of her face and Tiana blinks, breaking herself out of her stupor. She holds her arms out robotically to Dick, depositing the hell-spawn in his hands. It's too much, and Tiana says the only thing she can think of in the face of this revelation that made_ way_ too much sense.

"I have a cat."

* * *

_**Rightyo, and that concludes the end of chapter four! What did you think? Got any questions? Let me know in a review- or come find me on tumblr. My (Because I actually have one of those now, and I don't post much but I do check it daily) t**__**umblr username is**_: thetapdancingdragon **_Also I don't remember if I've mentioned this before but this story was inspired by the awesome Marshmallow with their story Nascent. Which, you've probably all read, but if you haven't you definitely should!  
_**

**A special shout-out to the reviewers! **_Shejams, Dork A saurus, BlackDove WhiteDove, Princess Magic and RubyCatCard!_**  
**  
**In response to Guest Reviews:**

_RubyCatCard:_ Thankyou! The plot will unfold eventually. Slowly... but eventually.

_Dork A saurus:_ ;) ;) ;)

**Thanks again for reading! And I'll see you next chapter!**

**_~Tap_**

**_P.s _**

**Still looking for a beta if anyone's up for it?**


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